He is always with me

The moment I kissed him, my heart dropped and my mind was at ease from all the worries. I was content with being single and having my independence was a privilege for me, a privilege I didn’t think was going to end. When I met Dustin, he was a charming guy who was so down to earth, I was nervous he wouldn’t like me. I remember telling him that I was tall and if I was taller than him then we could never be anything more than “just friends”. To know that he was nervous about the height makes me smile because after we found out I am a little shorter than him. It makes us cherish the past, the memories bonding us closer as time inevitably goes. I am very insecure but I cloud that with a great personality, but on the inside I am an emotional wreck. It surprised me when he was accepting of all of me, even my mistakes, because I really felt like I wasn’t allowed to have anyone as great as him. It was very neat to show him my home town and to describe it to him because most people would say its boring there but I saw it for so much more. In that sense, he saw me for more than mistakes and when he looks at me I melt. From the moment I knew that, I was relieved and happy to know we were hitting it off and I fell in love with him. The thought of being alone forever was lifted from me and to me there was no turning back. I know now that if I didn’t give us a chance that I would’ve lost the best thing this life had to offer, he is my wish granted.

All the memories together, laughing, a bit of crying (mostly me), and creating a foundation meant a lot to us. Dustin is a funny, smart, energetic, and loving person who shows me I deserve all the finer things in life. So, I am grateful even after hearing all about me, he was so understanding which showed me so much more about his personality. His view of life is simple, help other’s and be trustworthy because once you lose his trust it is not earned again. That is also another trait I appreciate about him because he knows how to protect me and he has great morals. I love how he is so sweet and kind to me and to those around us when we go out and about. Knowing that he is so helpful to other’s does show how generous a person he truly is and I believe that manners do go a long way because I am all about the “sorry’s” even when it comes to an accidental tap. It’s so great to share our awkward moments together because when we are alone there is a zero tolerance zero judgement for us and it makes it so comfortable. With that unspoken rule implemented, we have a lot of time to work on ourselves and we were able to communicate what we wanted in our relationship. It does take work but I wouldn’t have it any other way because of how amazing he is. There are so many times when I feel euphoric and it takes me back to the day we went tree climbing and just being in the tree with him made all the negative clouding my mind disappear. It’s so funny when we laugh and some of the things he does shows me he doesn’t mind my random rants when I get anxious or he doesn’t mock or ridicule me.When we are alone, I love admiring him and when he catches me I can hear him say “babe! that not nice!”. His sweet smile when he plays the innocent act but I know he about to do something naughty, it all reminds me how much I can not live without him. His whole being and aura about him lets me be myself and let loose, he’s my best friend.  We have connected so much on a daily basis that our sweet catch phrases stick and I like how we could be inside all day just being lazy and be completely at ease with it all. I enjoy cooking for him, it brings me peace of mind to know he enjoys my cooking because we get to be silly together especially when we both cook. It is so much fun working together to make our lives enjoyable and to know I have him to lean on shows me I’ll never be alone.

In public he gets a bit nervous so I get happy I am able to be with him because we feed off one another’s energy. His rituals in the morning are so sweet to me, always a kiss, and to see him walk out that door remind me it’s only getting better. Through my time of unemployment, he has let me find a way to find control over myself and figure out what I can do to stay sober. I’ll admit I have done a lot to stay and maintain my sobriety but I feel so complete with him. He makes me feel so beautiful on the inside, I am able to open up to him knowing there is no resentment in him towards me, and we want to share this life with one another. He tells me he is the lucky one in our equation but for us it’s “agree or disagree”. When he tells me how gorgeous I am, I feel so shy I get so gooey on the inside I just give him all my kisses. Not all of what we have has been great but simple disagreements has been a stepping block for us showing us what we need to work on as husband and wife. I know for sure if it wasn’t for him, I would not be this person I am now. I have more confidence and structure than I have ever wanted and he is so beautiful that I am beyond a doubt grateful he is the man who has my heart. The way he is as a man gives me the courage and motivation, that I want to be the best I can be for him and each day just gets better and better. I love you Dustin and the cute way you take off your socks. That chuckle in your throat when you laugh at things that I say and your innocent way about you when I know your up to something. This journey we call life is going to be the greatest now and forever because I no longer am alone and Dustin is with me as my guardian, my love.

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